Terlambat, ya?

Seorang teman bertanya padaku
Kala angin malam menyelinap lewat pintu kamar yang setengah terbuka
Dan bunyi baling-baling kipas angin menjadi musik monoton di telinga
"Kenapa?"

Aku membaca dan kemudian tertawa
Datar. Hambar.
Cepat jari ini berbicara melalui susunan huruf yang berderet di keyboard virtual
"Bukankah--sudah terlambat untuk bertanya 'kenapa'?"

Angin malam kembali berhembus
Bunyi baling-baling kipas angin masih terdengar sama
Pertanyaan dalam relung pun tak berubah

"Kenapa?"

Jawaban diplomatis terucap otomatis

"Bukankah--sudah terlambat untuk bertanya 'kenapa'?"

Jakarta
13.12.29

Lagi dan Lagi

Lagi-lagi kamu
Yang pernah muncul
senja itu

Lagi-lagi kamu
Pengirim pesan yang tiba-tiba muncul
di kotak masuk

Lagi-lagi aku
merasakan sesuatu yang entah kapan
akan berakhir
Dan bertanya apakah ini akan berujung

But honestly,

don't you have a little responsibility

for making me so confused?

(Voice Mail - IU) 

...is there anybody out there?

...or I am swimming through this empty sea--alone?

You can say goodbye,
To all the things that you have ever known.
You can say goodbye,
And leave inside the life that you have grown.
What's the point,
You try to start from scratch,
but get let down,

You can say goodbye,
Just to realize there's no-one left around.
So what am I fighting for.

Tell me
Is there anybody out there,
Am I swimming through this empty sea alone,
Am I looking for an answer
Or am I trying to find a way to get back home.
Is there anybody out there,
Would you hear me if I screamed or if I cried,
I'm looking for an answer
And just trying to find a way to survive.

You can live or die,
Without the chance to find out what your worth,
You can live or die,
And never find the one that she'd deserve,
You can walk alone,
And live inside the shadows in your heart,

You can say goodbye
Or live and find out you've been alone right from the start
So what am I fighting for.

Tell me
Is there anybody out there,
am I swimming through this empty sea alone,
Am I looking for an answer,
Or am I trying to find a way to get back home.
Is there anybody out there,
Would you hear me if I screamed or if I cried,
I am looking for an answer
And just trying to find a way to survive.

Never thought I would end up all alone,
Every day I am feeling further away from home,
I can't catch my breath,
but I am holding on.

Is there anybody out there,
is this the last time I have to say goodbye,
Am I staring at my future,
Is it time to take charge of my life,

Is there anybody out there
Am I swimming through this empty sea alone,
Am I looking for an answer,
or am I trying to find a way to get back home,
Is there anybody out there,
Would you hear me if I screamed or if I cried,
I am looking for an answer,
And just trying to find a way to survive,
a way to survive,
and I am holding on.

(Is There Anybody Out There by Secondhand Serenade)

This is what I'm thinking currently. Probably this is just another random side of me. Probably. 

Will We...?

Hi, there.

Have you realized something is missing in my blog?

Yes.

I deleted my post.

It was about you.

I deleted it.

Just because... I thought there would be a second chance.

But, no.

There isn't.

Maybe someday today would be left in the section of bitter memories.

And maybe the colored picture would turn to black and white.

I would move on and doing what I've been dreaming of.

You would move on and doing what you've been dreaming of.

By the time we meet again,

will we be able to look back and laugh?

Things suppose to be what they suppose to be.

We suppose to be what we suppose to be.

Friends.

 "The two basked in comfortable silence, and without saying a word, they both knew they would be okay.

That one day, everything would be all right."

(Chasing Summer @ asianfanfic)

One Saturday Afternoon

Someone was strumming his guitar
Someone was playing with his bass
Someone was busily looking at her phone
I held the microphone
And... (you sat in front of us)

"Hey, did you miss someone lately?"
Someone with his bass asked me suddenly
"Yep! Did you miss someone?"
The guitarist followed
The one who was busy looking at her phone too now seeing me
I saw you were looking at me (too)

I shooked my head
"No, I think I didn't miss someone, lately."
I answered simply
I threw a look to my microphone
While all of them were laughing
"She didn't."

Yeah. I didn't miss someone.
Because I really think I didn't feel it
After some time.

(And I saw you pretended to be mad by throwing your sandal
To the bassist and to the guitarist
While me
Saying sorry, deep inside)

Sorry.

13.07.06

L.H.K

Yay! July.

It's July. 2013.

I haven't post for months and back with a-not-so-called-melancholic(?)-poem.
It's about me, and a friend (him) 
It supposed to be posted at June but I've got a chance today so.. yeah.

"How was life?"
Good, bad, some thing happened, good again, so on...
I've finished my 1st year at college and prepare to start the 2nd year at September.
I have juniors, they will cal me 선배 (cries) even there's a possibility I'm younger than some of them HAHA!

I've been busy lately. I'm in an organization in my major, do some things and busy playing game haha ( - -)v
Well, we (me and my friends) are preparing for our Komisi Remaja's birthday at July 20-21! We'll go to Anyer Beach! Yay! I smell summer even lately rain is pouring down like December. Weird enough since Indonesia must be in dry season around July. But I like it because rain and cloudy weather make Jakarta looks like Forks.

Well, catch you later. Because I'm in holiday, I have some free-time and I hope I can write much~

P.S
Happy Independence Day for United States! My friend like US so much so I decided to write this~ Happy July 4th.

Curiosity

I was once thinking

And I'm still thinking:

How did we meet?

How did we know each other?

How did I say my name back then?

How did you say your name before?

Do you remember?

Because I forgot how it happened.

Still curious,

L.