Rindu

Malam pekat
Bau hujan
Secangkir kopi
Lagu lembut
Tarikan nafas teratur
Waktu yang melambat

Hanya kamu
yang tidak hadir.

Rindu.

Somewhere (Hopefully) Nice

With you, it won't be exist.
That somewhere hopefully nice.
It's not love but I don't know what is the name of that feeling of yours.
You ruined what I try to build.
So I don't mind to rebuild it.
Because I'm not sure if giving you countless chances will be worth it.
Beside those bittersweet memories of mine are still inside me.

Teksas.

Kamu teknik
Aku sastra
Diam-diam aku berharap
Kita disambungkan oleh jembatan merah itu

Kamu teknik
Aku sastra
Diam-diam mata melirik
Di ujung jembatan kuintip kamu bersama senja

Jakarta, 21 Juli 2014 (edit 11 Mei 2015)
(hanya anak sastra biasa yang diam-diam suka kagum melihat laki-laki bawa perkamen nyebrang jembatan)

Ocean of Light

I don't know what made me wrote the title like that. Probably Nell's song 'Ocean of Light' which suddenly playing in my head, but just now I read the translation and put on a sarcastic smile.

Will everything that you believed inBecome nothing?Are you afraid it’ll become like that?

Because everything I've believed in, became nothing. I believed someone did love me years ago, but it ended up me crying on my bed and having a hard time in forgiving a person like him (and even met with him will only burst out my anger). I believed time won't change my friendship but in the end distance being put between all of us. I believed that it will summer soon, but here comes the rain.

No, we aren't in love are we? Because love takes time. We barely know each other. We barely feel something toward each other. And to be honest I feel that we only hurt each other. I thought this will lead to nowhere. We are same, yet different.

The idea of falling in love scared me the most nowadays. They said love comes when you less expect it, but not in such a short moment, right? The idea of adding people in my life right now will take me nowhere, the worst is it will lead to another mess. I don't need another headache, I'm much in trouble with just one bang in my head. My friend said 'here comes the spring for you, Ny.' but I answered it vaguely 'No, this will lead to autumn, even winter.'

Deep inside I long for someone to walk together under the rain or sun, but for now, no, thank you, let's take our time and see if this will lead me to somewhere, hopefully nice.

Break down the walls that trap you

No, not now.

stupid.

how come people change in such a brief

they said sorry after minutes

after saying something that probably will hurt a person

for their entire life

you said someone who can't forgive is stupid

yeah, i indeed must be a stupid.

sad, sad, sad

sadly,

no matter how well I can handle things...

they won't see the tears behind everything

they won't see the loneliness that stings

sadly,

you have no one to talk with

and you used to and have to be ok with it

sadly,

the person you love will always disappoint you

not because they don't love you too

but because they pretend to know everything

all they don't know about you.

3 times, thank you.

For me, remembering things I should have do today isn't as good as remembering that bittersweet-flavored past. Lately, I've been remembering things, a lot. And that moments--suffocated me. Bring no good but still I can't chase them away.

You.

You.

and you.

Should have just put you, you, and you in the trash can inside my head. If one really exists, though.

I remember how things happened, I keep on thinking how fool I was. I keep ont thinking... and wondering.

Thank you. Thank you. And you, thank you.